Unwritten Rules for Living in Germany: Cultural Etiquette Tips for Expats
Navigating a new culture can be challenging, and understanding the unwritten rules of a society is crucial for successful integration. Like any other country, Germany has its own set of unwritten rules. With Germany being known for its rich history and unique customs, the set of unwritten rules can be LONG, comprehensive, detailed and sometimes tedious. That being said, doing your best ti embrace and understand them can help you blend in and avoid misunderstandings. Naturally, not everybody acts or responds the same way, German cultural norms expats should know while living or traveling in Germany.
Always Have Cash on Hand
While most establishments accept card payments, Germans prefer to carry cash. It's not unusual to find places that only accept cash, especially smaller shops and restaurants. I always wondered why cash is preferred in Germany and I think it’s for three main reasons. First is the tradition. I think it’s just rooted in culture partly due to post-war economic conservatism and a general focus on financial responsibility. Additionally, the culture of credit cards and debt is less prominent in Germany compared to countries like the U.S. Second is the privacy and anonymity. Germans value financial privacy and are often wary of data collection associated with digital payments. Spending in cash is a way of maintaining that privacy. Finally, since Germany, and Europe, is full of many independent restaurants and small businesses, as opposed to North America, shop owners save money when people pay in cash. I had a discussion with a shop owner the other day and he told him that the machine that does his card transactions charges him a certain fee (and i believe an additional tax) that he wouldn’t have to pay if he just received his money in Cash. Finally, some stores will make you pay this fee if your purchase is under a certain amount.
The Importance of Handshakes
Handshake culture is huge and expected in Germany. When I first arrived here, I was astounded at how many hands I had to shake when walking into work. It’s like I had to shake everybody’s hands there. No nod, no wave, but a hand shake. I’ve heard and seen people get visibly upset because somebody didn’t shake their hand. I remember during Covid, it felt like people were at a loss because they could no longer shake hands, so they resorted to fist bumps. Now that Covid is gone, always remember a nice firm handshake when greeting people you know or are being introduced to. If you’re greeting a couple, make sure to shake the female’s hand before the male’s.
Greeting Etiquette
Apart from handshake culture, greeting culture is also big. If you don’t know somebody but you will be spending time in close proximity, you don’t have to shake their hand but you should greet. For example, if you go into the waiting room of a doctor’s office, you usually say a moderately loud “Hallo” and then everybody there will usually return the greeting as you find your seat. When you leave, it’s also appropriate to give a general “Tschuss”, which is goodbye. When you meet with the doctor, he/she will most likely shake your hand.
Separate Your Waste
Germans are very detail oriented, even when it comes to garbage. There’s paper recycling, bottle recycling, plastic recycling and many more different types of recycling. Make sure you don’t confuse them. There’s also garbage for everything and garbage for biodegradable items. It’s frowned upon to put the wrong garbage in the wrong bin.
Avoid Late Evening Calls
Avoiding calling people after a certain time is one of the unwritten phone etiquette rules in Germany. They aren’t expected to pick up, even if they’re not doing anything. Calling past a certain time can also be considered rude. If it’s your very close friend and you know they’re okay with it, go ahead, otherwise, I would personally refrain.
Politeness is Key
In Germany, you’re expected to be polite, or feign politeness. Even if what you’re saying is really rude, you should say it politely, using the appropriate grammar and always say thank you after your request.
Bring Cake for You Birthday
It’s an expectation to bring a cake or pastries to share with your colleagues on your birthday. You can bring anything you want as long as you can share it with your colleagues.
Follow Pedestrian Rules
Following crossing signals in Germany is one of the social norms. I think we all know the rules but break them from time to time. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal but the pedestrian rules are more respected here that other places I’ve been, so If the crossing sign is red, don’t cross. I know it’s tempting… the road is free, but it’s frowned upon. In addition, the road rules translate to walking. You are supposed to walk and bike on the right side of the road. If you’re walking slowly, let people pass on your left or stay completely on the right side. If you’re an escalator and you don’t want to walk while it’s moving, stay to the right so that people can pass you on the left, etc…
Respect Bike Lanes
Bikes have special lanes. If they coincide with the sidewalk, they’re usually indicated by a red colour or bike sign. If you’re a cyclist, stick to the the bike lanes. If you’re a pedestrian and you care about your safety, don’t walk in the bike lanes.
Lüften (Ventilating)
Lüften is a big thing in Germany. They love their fresh air and they love to open the windows. It’s actually a big expectation here. It doesn’t matter if it’s summer or winter, you’re still expected to open the windows multiple times a day. There are ventilation expectations in German homes. Lüften is so important that it often appears in rental agreements. You’re usually expected to open the windows, not partially but completely, for 5 - 10 minutes several times a day. My wife is an elementary school teacher and while working at a school in Germany, she was required to open the windows for 3 minutes, every 15 minutes (this was after Covid so maybe it was a bit more extreme). That being said, this was a stark contrast to her teaching experience in England where there was no such requirement or expectation to open the windows and she worked there even closer to the reopening of society after the lock down.
There are so many reasons that Germans value Lüften. Some of them have to do with mold prevention. Due to the humidity in Germany, houses are extra susceptible to mold. There are also other reasons like perceived and actual health benefits, air quality etc… but whatever it may or may not, just make sure you open your windows.
Naturally, this isn’t a comprehensive list. Germany has a rich social culture and you’ll discover many more upon arriving. Keeping these things in mind can help you adjust to life here and understand the expectations of how to behave in Germany. Have you had any clashes with German culture? What unwritten rules surprised you in Germany? Let us know you experience!
